Why spirals happen
Stress narrows attention. Kids seek certainty. We jump to fixing. Conversations speed up, then break down.
The 3-step loop
1) Name: 'Looks like you're stuck and angry.' 2) Pause: ten seconds of silence while you breathe. 3) Reflect: 'So math felt unfair because the timer started early.'
Signals you’re on track
Breathing slows. Voice drops. Kids add a detail rather than fight a label. You feel less urge to correct and more curiosity to ask the next question.
Do this tonight
Pick one moment after dinner. Use one 'name' and one 'reflect' line. Track the moment inside Mom&Dad Tracker to see how quickly the mood recovers across the week.