The trap
We adjudicate who is right. Kids learn to litigate, not collaborate. Emotions rise, repairs are shallow.
The 4 steps
1) Name the goal ("We want both to keep building"). 2) Each tells their view in 20 seconds. 3) Brainstorm two options. 4) Pick one small next step and schedule a check-in.
Why it works
Shared goal + time bounds + equal turns reduce escalation. Kids feel seen, so creativity reappears.
Coach, don’t fix
Ask: 'What would make this fair enough for both?' 'Which option is easiest to try now?' Capture the agreement in Mom&Dad Tracker as a 'huddle' event.